Wow so I have been missing in action for a little over a month now! Thank you all for your time and patience and for everyone who still keeps coming to my page even though I haven’t posted in a while. Life has been SUPER SUPER SUPER busy and so I feel you all deserve a bit of an explanation! I have this really bad habit (and this time it is not my Derma I am referring to) of taking on WAY too much! As well as being at university full time, I am also a single mum of a little boy who needs additional help when it comes to schooling, speech, etc. I work nights filling shelves which means I don’t get home some nights until midnight AND on top of this I am currently undertaking a teaching prac for my studies where I am working full time as a student teacher in a school for the next 2 weeks. However I haven’t stopped thinking about you all… I’ve finally paid for and ordered the Dermatillomania awareness wristbands which should be arriving in less than 3 weeks time, my Dermatillomania Support Group on Facebook has grown to over 500 members and whenever I get a spare few moments I have been compiling some Derma-related articles that will hopefully be posted on here soon. I will keep you all updated on how everything is going and will let you all know when the wristbands arrive. Thank you again everyone for your continued support!
So apparently, according to my mum, I can just stop? I picked at my chin tonight because I am stressing out about a date this week. So yeah obviously the smart thing to do is pick at my skin because we all know that makes me look so much more attractive and makes me all the more confident ha! Anyway it’s my coping mechanism, not that it really helps, but seeing my chin like this has pissed my mum off. She became annoyed with me and said I should be able to just stop, to which I replied “If it were that easy I would have stopped already”. Of course she had an answer to this “I used to have OCD and I stopped”. Yes mum I also used to have severe OCD and I was able to control that and I’ve also managed to quit smoking but quitting picking is a whole other ball game! Well apparently she doesn’t believe that it is that hard to stop! *facepalm* hold on one second while I go and bang my head repeatedly against a brick wall … there much better!! Now where were we? Oh yeah that’s right JUST STOP!!! -_-
This my friends is what a combination of stress, boredom and wanting to be “perfect” does to my skin. Stressed because I have found a painful lump in my breast 😦 & as I am still on holidays I can’t get in to see a doctor yet so of course my mind is racing with “worst case” scenarios; boredom because for some reason I must find an overload of study & work more relaxing than holidays; and wanting to have my skin looking “perfect” so I wouldn’t have to hide it when my family (who I’m housesitting for) came back from their trip. Well they are back and I am having to sneak into the bathroom first thing in the morning to apply makeup before anyone sees me, quickly apply makeup after my shower so again no one sees the damage I have done to my face, and yes folks I am also having to sleep in my makeup! Talk about Derma issues!!!
I’ve been looking through old pictures and thought I would share a comparison between how bad my skin can get (when my derma is severe and my stress levels are high) and how good my skin can get (when my derma is manageable and my stress levels are low). No matter how clear my skin can get I ALWAYS feel like the girl on the left. Having spent so many years in a continuous state of severe derma I struggle to see myself how I look now – I still think I look like the girl on the left until I see proof like this. Photos like this set out side by side show just how far I’ve come. As hard as it is to take pictures, especially when the picking is at an all time high, it’s worth it to see the progress you have made. It also motivates you to keep fighting the fight! Kicking Dermatillomania… we’ve got this!!