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Happy Birthday To Me

About three months ago I put a plan in place to stop picking by my 25th birthday. In 1 minute, I will be 25 years old and my picking is the worst it’s been all year.

That photo is of me on Friday night… I spent my night picking for hours on end to the point I felt physically sick to my stomach and that depressed I contemplated suicide.

I feel worse tonight.

My back is on fire. I have a weeping open wound in between my shoulder blades that just won’t heal and I can feel it burning. All the skin around it is red, raised and hot to touch. My face is stinging and my arms and legs are covered in band-aids.

I haven’t felt this sad in a long long time.

I’m 25 tomorrow. That’s 21 years living with Derma and I’m not sure I can do it anymore.

I’m in so much mental and physical pain. I just want to cry but I can’t.

I can’t handle how much this disorder has consumed my life. I feel so ill. A sign I am infected once again.

Happy birthday to me.

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