Progress Is Being Made

I’ve been doing really well lately – so well in fact that my picking has lessened enough that I went to the dvd store last night with NO makeup on my face. I was devastated when I realised the dvd store was shut and I would instead have to go inside the shopping centre to return my rentals BUT I did it! I may have been extremely anxious, fiddling with my fingers in my pocket the entire time and turning my head or looking down every time I passed another shopper, but I managed to leave my house without makeup and this is a small step in the right direction! I’m also weighing in at 43.3kg, and that was after a yucky bout of vomiting thanks to gastro, which means I have managed to put on 4.7kg in 6 months (probably more now that I can finally eat again)! Which means I’m only 1.7kg away from my goal weight of 45kg and I am slowly starting to not be so paranoid about germs in my food. Next step will be buying and cooking mince or chicken. At the moment I’m only ok with steak!

If you’re wondering why I’m all of a sudden talking about food I too suffer from OCD and have done since I was a little girl. I used to spend hours checking locks, taps and light switches but I managed for the most part to overcome that. Now, after a stressful period last year, it has returned in the form of thinking my food is contaminated and being extremely cautious with what I buy and eat. And I also have to wash my hands quite frequently with hot water and soap! I thought I’d kicked my OCD but my psychologist told me that in times of stress it can return as it is the only way I feel like I can have some control over what’s happening in my life. OCD is about control and when I felt like I was losing control the OCD returned.

Does anyone else suffer with any other conditions on top of the Dermatillomania? My official diagnosis a few years ago, when my picking was at its peak, was: severe depression with suicidal tendencies, anxiety disorder, OCD and Dermatillomania. Fun times… not!! :/

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Posted on June 25, 2013, in Depression, Food Phobia, My Stop Picking Journey, OCD, Picking and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. i have a mild form from when i got psoriasis as a kid, after a patch would clear i would still have the urge to pick at my skin. i was borderline OCD as a child but it’s virtually disappeared as i’ve gotten older, now i struggle with bipolar disorder and social anxiety. it’s so encouraging to see you’re doing well, good on you for trying so hard. one step at a time 🙂

    • Hi mckarlie! Thank you for stopping by my blog and for your kind, encouraging words. According to my mum my skin picking started after we moved to a tropical climate and I was bitten all over by mosquitos but now I will pick at anything. I’m glad to hear your OCD has virtually disappeared as I know just how time consuming, frustrating and controlling it can be. And although we suffer from different forms of mental illness I know how much of a struggle it can be living with one and you’re exactly right… we’ve just got to take it one step at a time! 🙂

      • Is it possible that the move itself lead to the picking? Just wondering. You seem really insightful and I’m sure you’re going to beat your issues, I wish you strength and all the very best, you’re doing great! 🙂

      • I always thought that it did to be honest. Even though I was only 4 at the time I can recall never wanting to move as I loved it so much where we were. Thank you very much that means a lot! Wishing you all the best as well 🙂

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