I’ve been staying at a friend’s house while I get some space from my breakup and I have noticed that while I am here I don’t pick AS much BUT after a while I start to get some major withdrawal symptoms. It feels as though I am going a little bit crazy. Ok A LOT crazy!!
The first two nights were fine, I just picked a scab or two here and there, but then tonight (night number 3) my desperate desire to pick coupled with my anxiety sent my hands into a frenzy. I always find that if I have gone without picking for a few days that the next time I do pick, it is more agressive, more rushed, more frenzied. I gouge at my skin. Rip at the flesh. Dig my nails in further. I want my skin to tear. I want it to hurt. Blood goes everywhere. It’s not as controlled. There’s no need to “perfect” when I am in that moment – it’s all about the “need to pick”.
So I’ve done that now. But still I am anxious.
So I drank a cup of tea. But still I am anxious.
So I posted on here. But still I am anxious.
Usually the picking works. Why am I still so anxious? What can I do to help ease my anxiety?