Permanently Disfigured

I wish I could cry or get angry. Smash things. Break things. Instead I sit here endlessly tearing at my skin. Gouging my fingernails deep into my flesh and then tearing apart whatever is left with tweezers until I bleed and I ache. Skin stinging. Blood pouring. Heart breaking. Night after night it’s the same thing. My only escape. I need an escape from my escape. I hate this disease. This crippling life-sucking “thing” that I “need” to survive yet…

… life would be so much easier without it.

Welcome to my life… this is Dermatillomania. This IS my life!

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Posted on December 26, 2012, in Picking. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hello there, thank you for following my blog. I have often wished too that there were some other way to release my frustration and anger. It’s actually really funny – the first time I went to a therapist she told me I had a lot of anger pent up in me. I thought she was nuts, because I am outwardly the calmest, happiest person the the world. That’s when I started to see that there were darker emotions in me that I hadn’t yet acknowledged. I really feel for you – everything you wrote in this post is definitely something I’ve experienced. Needing an escape from the escape – how heart-breakingly true. Thank you for blogging about this condition. We need more people out there just as brave and willing to write about their experiences.

  2. Thank you for visiting my blog. I too wish there was a healthier and more productive way for me to vent my frustration and anger without constantly taking it out on my skin. I think that acknowledging our feelings and emotions is the first step to understanding our condition better and perhaps it may even help us to break free from it all together one day. I thought it was about time I spoke up about what I live with… it’s good to see so many others doing it as well. Hopefully this will help others, including medical professionals, realise this condition exists and in turn help them to understand it better.

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