Don’t let the bastards get you down!
Posted by dermagirl
It’s a horrible feeling when you have your trust betrayed. I’m usually pretty careful who I confide in about my skin picking with because some people can be quite naive about the sufferings of others but I thought I could trust this friend of mine; especially since he was intent on becoming a psychologist. And so I opened up to him only to have it thrown back in my face. He was nasty – physically, emotionally and verbally. I recall him yelling at me one night that no one would ever find me beautiful because I had wrecked my skin, I was ugly and scarred and no one would ever love me. I didn’t react. I knew he was intentionally trying to upset me and I find that with bullies they usually put others down in order to feel better about themselves. His insecurities were endless and as a result of that he would “pick on me” to distract himself from his own intense feelings of self-hatred. I’ve now found out that he has been spreading rumours about me in my workplace and telling my colleagues that I “constantly pick pick pick at my skin”.
The old me would have become upset at this. But I have come to realise that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. There is nothing anyone can say to me anymore that will bring me down. Yes I pick! Yes I have sores! Yes I have scars! If you have a problem with it… get over it! Because as I have found out – it’s those who have a problem with what I do who are the problem. To quote Bernard M. Baruch: “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”. I have people in my life who love and accept me for who I am and it is only their opinions that matter to me. One of my work mates even said to me they were so happy when they found out I had my flaws because they always thought I was so damn perfect. This made my night – in that one sentence alone I was able to see myself how others see me and the view wasn’t so bad after all!
In life I try and turn every mistake I make into a lesson that I can learn and grow from. In this case I wouldn’t say I’ve learnt not to trust others because the world is full of beautiful, kind, accepting people and to not trust them would be to miss out on some truly great friendships. What I have learnt though is to be strong in myself and to not care so much what others think of me. And most importantly I have learnt, and am still learning, that when others “pick on me” I don’t have to take it out on myself anymore. People who pick on me aren’t worth me wrecking my skin over. And so I won’t even pick a single scab over this ex-friend of mine and his nasty bitter words – that’s how little him and his opinions matter to me.
Lesson learned: surround yourself with those who love you! I deserve it and SO DO YOU! ♥
Posted in Picking
Tags: Bullying, Dermatillomania, Picking, Scars, Trust